Reason to live
by Ohmi
Summary: screams,cries of his little bro,Dreams or nightmare,memories fighting him how can Dean get a normal life with all of this,deep sadness,depressed Dean feels terrible,can he stand without his bro,and what's after Sam's back  Ch.3:Sam's back Read it & Review
1. Ch1: Oh,My Bro,

It wasn't a dream , or a nightmare Dean knew that it's over now , and there's no way to see his baby brother again, that was it .

And it wasn't a peacefull farewell, like it seemed, seeing his little brother throwing himself right to the hell even if his brother seemed.. he really doesn't know how can he express that..!,because Sammy opened his arms like he was ready to fly or something he wasn't afraid at all,even he knew that he was going to hell,Dean didn't know if that makes Sammy brave or suicider when he controlled his own body again , and that which make it harder for Dean because he knew then, that one was his Sammy who throw himself to hell not anyone else… Dean couldn't believe it that Sam 's now in hell and he knew what the hell it 's , Sam chose hell just to save the world he sacrificed himself without thinking, and he knew that he was going right to the hell , but didn't escaped or even scared his eyes seemed different that look the last look and his last words was carved in Dean's heart and mind for this, Dean was broken ,but proud

It has been few Days since he went to lisa's place and he had to look for a job.

Of course he worked in a workshop near to lisa's place .

Yeah , that's what he likes to do or liked,and what he really good at…

It was a Tuesday , Dean woke up early because of another dream.

Weird one as usual , he saw a beautiful garden , and there were many children playing, but there was only one sitting alone and crying, Dean knew him and walked to me .

But he didn't know why he didn't call his name loud..?

He came closer to the boy and said:

What's wrong with you little boy..!

Sam looked at him sadly and said :

I can't find my big bro

and started to cry :

i want my bro , he's all i got

Dean was speechless for a minute. He couldn't say a word , but in his mind he said "yeah boy , you are what i got too "

Dean gasped and tried to smile : it's okay , he 'll come for you soon , I know that .

Little Sam sobbing : are you sure..?

Dean with a sad smile :yeah little guy , I'm sure

Little Sam : why do you look sad ..?

Are you lost like me…?

Dean : yeah , I'm lost without him too

Little Sam : who is he ?

Dean said sadly with a broken voice : my bro

Little Sam smiling with his teary eyes: Don't be sad , he 'll come for you.

Dean with a depressed voice: I'm not so sure about it .

Little Sam : I love my big bro I really do but I just wanted to catch that rabbit.

Dean : a rabbit , do you like rabbits..?

Little Sam : yeah, it's just I can't find anything to give to my big bro in his birthday , i don't know now i lost him and the rabbit too,

may be i'll give him my red car , he really likes Cars.

Dean : but that's your favourite ..!

Little Sam with a big smile : I know , but he's my favourite too .. but how did you know that it's my favourite..!

Dean gasped : can I hug you shortstuff..?

Little Sam smiled and said :yeah , I think you can

Dean hugged little Sammy and held him for a long time , and Sammy seemed comfortable with it…

Dean couldn't help it , he couldn't stop his tears when they ran away from his sad eyes .. he whispered : I miss you Sammy I really do .

But then he heard a shot , and then he felt that little Sam got heavier than after his hands were tied around Dean's neck, they fell heavily down , he found his little boy falling down in his arms, but he held him and tried to wake him up but he knew that he was so late he's gone now, Dean screaming : Sam.. Don't do this to me again…No Sammy no …don't Do this to me...please …Sam ..oh my little bro .

Then he was up , looking around him where 's the garden and his baby bro, just to find lisa beside him on the bed.

Then knew that was just another dream or nightmare but he wouldn't call it a nightmare , as it's where he always sees his baby again ,and that was the only way he could, just in his memories or weird dreams


	2. Ch2: At Bobby's house

**First**: Review me please

**second**: i own don't owe the characters, but i wish

**third** : Review me please i'm getting depressed, i'll stop writing soon if i got no respond.

** Chapter Two :**

** " At Bobby's House "**

Bobby was sitting there , depressed , sad , in pain and had all the reasons to shot himself , but he didn't.

He thought that killing himself now , isn't the time for it… as he was all what Dean have now after Sam…

Dean phoned bobby few days ago telling him that he'd be here for him this weekend , and that was about time ,…. Bobby wanted to see him he really missed him and he wanted to know how he is after all…

Bobby heard the Roar of the engine he knew it , he turned and went to open the door , and yeah that was weird….

That's the first time , to see Dean getting down from the Car ..Alone

Yeah , he missed that face ..

Dean and Bobby didn't see each other from a while .. they missed each other .

Dean gave the old man a hug , and Bobby knew that the boy was dying inside indeed … he never felt that sadness in this eyes before .. and that what it make it worse for Bobby , that sadden him over his sadness…

Bobby asked Dean about lisa and Ben and his work and never said a word about hunting … as he knew that Dean give up hunting and the hunter's life … so he wanted to keep it this way.

Bobby asked Dean to stay this night but Dean refused …

But as soon as he left,he came back because of the storm.

Dean remembered Sam when was just four years old, and how he hated storms,thunder and lightning, they freaked his little bro.

Dean sighed,and when straight to the bed, then again he remembered Sammy, yeah he used to share with this room,but not recently as Sam was often trapped in the panic room but still miss him around.

In just 5 minutes, he was sleeping and started to dream too

He saw himself and Samuel his grandfather putting the gun in his forehead telling him not to get closer or he'd shot,then he heard a familiar voice,it was Sam..Sammy

He found himself turning to see his bro, he looked fine and strong ,Sam shouted at Samuel : put your gun down or I swear I 'll crack your skull and snap your funkin neck.

And then Samuel put down his shotgun and said slowly :"it's okay Sam,I won't hurt your big brother,I putting down the gun down just calm down it's not good for you know"

Sam shouted:"not hell of your business,good for or not just leave or I'll put a bullet in you, okay..!"

Samuel :" okay son,.."

Sam interrupted him :" I'm not ypur freakin' son, so shut up and never say it again."

Dean:" Sam,Sammy…it's okay,he's leaving now,calm down please."

Sam :"Dean, please stop it, I'm not five anymore."

Dean:"I'm not saying you are,I'm just..I'm just worried man"

Sam:"don't be, I'm fine"

Dean:"you are not, you know it so skip trying to convince,coz you won't"

Sam:"Dean,I pretty fine now,I am better than yesterday,I swear"

Dean turned to Sam as he saw him falling

Sam was whispering saying:"you did this to me , first you let my jump right to the hell,and now this I told you not but I insisted, I trusted you and you giving me is Pain"

Dean shouted,screamed:"no,don't you me this Sam, no,not you Sammy,I never knew,please forgive me,Sam"

Sam smiling :" it's too late,Dean..Too Late,your baby bro is gone now"

Dean screamed"no..no..no..not Real, that's a nightmare, I know,I'll wake up now"

But he didn't….

He kept screaming until he didn't hear his voice anymore.

Then he felt someone shaking him,it was Bobby

Bobby:"son, you freaked me out, are you okay..!"

Dean whispering as he's no voice:"yeah, fine just a bad dream.."

Bobby:"wanna talk about it..?"

Dean:"no, it's not a big deal"

Bobby raising his eyebrow:"not a big deal..do I look like a adjit to you

Kid,I was born at night, but last night..you think I'm buying this..?

Dean I know nightmares very well,and that just looked like one of them.."

Dean:" yeah, but it still just a nightmare.."

Bobby:"look son, I realize that you are having hard time since the jump, I get it I really do,but this wasn't good at all,I couldn't wake u up for more than 15 min..that bad a real bad sign ,I thought you were good and a bit happy but now I don't think so..you are telling me what's going on and now Dean, you hear me.."

Dean sighed :" okay, I'm not good ,not at all pretending, acting, whatever you wanna say but I can't deal with it , not anymore..i saw him I always see him around

In real and in dreamland.. yeah every night maybe every single hour, I don't know but I see him everywhere I see him in ben , I see walking beside me, I see him with me in the car, I hear his voice singing with me , I hear his voice mumbled his favourite song, I hear him telling me keep going never stop never give up.." Dean couldn't hold the tears anymore in his eyes,he let them or they defeated him.. he didn't know,Bobby got up and reached Dean's shoulders and squeezed them for comfort and said:"Dean you are gone through much,I know how hard could it be ..i know you miss the kid and me too but we have to live let it go Dean,that what he wants for you,don't do this to your self,please you breaking my heart son"

Dean hiding his tears saying " yeah, but it 's not easy Bobby, not at all.."

Bobby:" I know ,but hopefully you 'll get better by the time,Dean it was not your fault , it wasn't anyone, your bro done it by his will, you even tried to stopped him, but without what he had done it 'd be over now for the whole planet,he saved us you do know that right..?"

Dean:" yeah, he did saved the fuckin' planet, and that what he got..Hell"

Bobby:" yeah, he knew that too, now get some sleep, son okay..!"

Dean:" yeah, I'll try to sleep,and hey, thanks Bobby,that really helped"

Bobby smiling :"yeah, adjit.."

Dean tried but he couldn't sleep, so he got up and went downstairs to the kitchen he made himself a cup of something he couldn't figure it out but smells good more like herbs or something .. but honestly, he didn't care what was it , he just needed to relax.. and that drink really helped and then went to his bed and finally got some sleep.

In the morning , Dean found himself sleeping on the coach but it was the first time to sleep without a scary dream ,… but he was kinda missing his little bro memories , a small part of him liked that.

Bobby was still asleep , when Dean heard a familiar scream … after few seconds it repeated …. Again and again ,… Dean couldn't help it .. so he went to the source and it was coming from Downstairs.. the panic room

Dean ran quickly as fast as he could.. going downstairs .. to the panic room, but nothing was there the sound had disappeared …..

Dean sighed sadly and remembered Sam's screams and his pain , when his fever was up , he could even hear his screams now that tore his heart … he opened the panic room and saw the bed was still there he got closer and put his hands on it .. it was like he still feel his spirit, his voice and his last wish..

Dean found himself sobbing like a little boy , but bobby somehow got there and watched from a bit far distance he was sobbing too, it was few days ,when the youngest Winchester was around , that trouble maker was his brother's heart , and now dean try to live without it , it was hard for both of them , even what Bobby told him last night he couldn't stop missing his brother as Sam was everything to him and will still be.

**Review Please** ,even if you hate it tell me what you think about it...**!**


	3. Ch3: Little You, p1

Read it and Review please, even if you like it or not,..

**" Little You,.."**

**Part 1**

It was 3:00 am Dean was sitting beside sleeping Sam , worried as he didn't wake up yet since he got his soul back,…

Sam moaned in pain and slowly opened his eyes seeing Dean's right beside him

And started shivering and whispering "like I ain't gonna know you, this's the 783 time so STOP IT"

Dean "Sammy, what's wrong tiger...?"

Sam screaming in tears "stop calling me that STOP using him and his words"

Dean " its okay, Sam it's me Dean not anyone else"

Sam screamed louder " Stop it please, why did you put me here...!"

Dean " Sam, I swear it's me man Come on please"

Sam started to shiver harder and getting choked "just kill me plz"

Dean's heart broke for this words and because Sam was hurting choking for nothing so confused that he couldn't know his own brother

Sam screamed in pain "my heart aww, stop it ",Dean " Sam …Sam, no , come on that's me man I swear it's me ,you are here, you are back ,you 're out of hell, man Breathe for me Sam, come on "

Sam started to convulse and stopped breathing, Dean shouted " no, Sammy No Sam don't do this to me man, can't see you in this way, please open your eyes man please Sammy" but Dean got no respond he was losing Sam again, Dean didn't find other Way to help his Bro otherwise Hospital even he knew how much Sam hates hospitals,…

The Doctor was out of ER telling Dean about Sam condition and it's wasn't good at all,

"Sam has a sick heart needs an urgent surgery and his lungs are collapsing now, his kidneys ain't working and he got internal bleeding and unfortunately we can't stop it,"

Dean felt his heart's melting on the doc's words telling him about his baby bro

The Doc continued "I'm so sorry for telling you this but the surgery's useless he won't get better after it if he got out of it

It's a really complicated surgery his heart 's so weak he wouldn't make it , in fact it's even now , without it he won't make it , I'm sorry for this but without a surgery you 'll have time to Say Good-Bye or may be sitting with him until you know..,I know it's hard to hear this but you should know he won't live longer than this , you did knew that he was born with some of these right,..! "

Dean didn't answer only said "I need time with my brother alone please"

The Doc "as you wish, we won't interrupt you as we have nothing more to do for him" and left Dean alone in front of Sam's door,

Dean saw Sam sleeping he didn't really know if he was sleeping or in coma as he didn't heard the Doc's last words ,…

Getting closer to Sam's bed and setting beside him looking at him in this condition so weak, Dean didn't know what to do except Calling Cas,

Dean "CAS, get down here now, I need you man,"

CAS "Dean, I'm here from a while"

Dean "what ..,? Why didn't you show up then,..! "

Cas "I tried to contact Sam but he ain't responding even in Dreams, he doesn't Dream,.."

Dean "is that a problem for you, there's more serious things to care about more than dreams, Sam's heart, lungs and kidneys I don't know what's working in his body if these aren't"

Cas" first, Dreams are important very important , Second Sam's brain is the only thing 's working and it doesn't even work perfectly , he 's in a really bad condition worse than death ,.."

Dean" oh great really great,.." then looked down at his bro's body and said sadly: "Fix him Cas, please"

Cas "I don't know if I can do it"

Dean "okay give it a shot"

Cas" Dean , no, it could harm Sam"

Dean " he's dying , what could harm him more , he's in pain non-stop pain his body 's not responding for treatment , his brain isn't working either what else , ha tell me what else could happen to him,..!"

Cas " Dean, Sam 's trapped in pain ,we have to free him"

Dean " free him , like let him Die,…! Is this your definition for freedom , you need another dictionary man, because this 's the most stupid idea I 've ever heard "

Cas " Dean , I was trying to help , to you any other ideas "

Dean " oh , I got one , let's hang him to free his soul and send it back again right to hell no we ain't that smart , we 'll send right back to the cage with your freaking angle brother , haa sounds good right , Cas it's my brother we are talking about here Sam who saved our ass from freaking end so use your mojo and fix him as you can do I won't blame unless you killed him then ,you 'll follow him "

Cas " I can stop his internal bleeding ", Dean " okay, do it now "

Cas put his hand on Sam's chest and then the monitor made a beep and gave a green sign up and down

Dean " what the hell has happened now, Cas ,..! "

Cas " what I fixed that bleeding thing as you wanted and his heart worked again luckily ", Dean " Was Sam Dead,.. his heart wasn't working on even on machines,.. the Doc fooled me , my bro was dead since the first I entered his room ,I 'm gonna kill that doctor "

As the Doc rushed in Sam's door , Cas disappeared ,..

The Doc " what 's that ,.. that's a miracle

No way he was dead from about an hour I informed the death time,… how could this be …?"

Dean " you son of bitch , you didn't tell me that my bro died"

The Doc " it was awful I'm so sorry but you seemed like you 'll go crazy if I told you that so soon I was going to tell you tomorrow , I'm so sorry "

Dean yelled " I will kill you if you hided anything about Sam anymore, I 'll do it believe me "

The Doc " yeah , yeah I won't hide anything , Sir"

Dean " Good , now do your work and fix my bro ,.."

The Doc " sure "

The Doc checked Sam , he told Dean " he 's alive for now, his condition ain't better otherwise the internal bleeding stopped,and completed " I really don't know what will happen your bro 's full of surprises,.."

Dean " okay , thanks" then the Doc left ,..

Cas appeared again "Dean, they are looking for him, they are coming here, we have to go and now"

Dean" who are they,..! "

Cas " Dean we don't have time , we are going to bobby's house"

Cas appeared holding Dean's shoulder and Dean was sitting beside his little bro and Sam was sleeping on the bed just like a second ago he was on the hospital's Bed,..

Bobby heard the noise and quickly got upstairs in the Bedroom,…

Bobby" what the hell you two freaked me out ,… holly cra… is that Sam who's sleeping in front of me,…Dean ,what have you done ,son….! ''

Dean "it's okay, Bobby I didn't do anything or any deals like you think ,…"

Bobby "so tell me, how did that happened,..!"

Dean "long story Bobby", Bobby "spell it Dean",… Dean "okay, then….."

**TBC,..**

Review me, and tell me what you think about it,...!


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